Someone made fun of me today.
Well, they made fun of my laugh, which is a big part of me.
I'm less sensitive than I used to be, but if there's one thing I'm sensitive about, it's the size of my head. Literally, not figuratively. If there are two things I'm sensitive about, it's the size of my head and my laugh.
So, I laughed really loud today, as I am wont to do, and someone immediately followed with a mock-laugh, intended to sound like and make fun of mine own. (Backstory: I have a really loud laugh.) When this happens - and because of the raucous nature of my laugh, this happens frequently - my immediate physiological response is a rush of blood to the face and a sink of the stomach to the feet which happens because of my immediate emotional response, shame. Then, I look around confused - What is happening? Why is he/she doing this? - after which I put on a smile and/or pouty face to try and save... face.
But this time, as soon as my brain signaled the blood in my feet to start its way to my upper regions, I heard a very quiet Voice say, "I like your laugh," and instead of the shame and the saving-face routine, I kept a real smile, retreated inward to that Place where God is, and enjoyed a laugh with him.
It was crazy!
It is the first time that has ever happened!
God just kind of... interrupted. Which he has been doing a lot of lately.
I've heard people say, from time to time, that God has a sense of humor, that Jesus made jokes, and I always thought it was irreverent. And I've also heard the touchy-feely people talk about God's love in a way that starts to feel uncomfortable, probably because I'm not very familiar with God's love. But now I get it. I got the impression, today, that he was laughing with me. Smiling a deeply pleased smile at me.
So. new.
So then, just now, I was driving to Target, and I did something crazy - I can't remember what it was, but I often tell/remember jokes or practice Irish, Spanish, Russian, and African accents while in the car alone to amuse myself - and I just busted up laughing, because my jokes and accents are very funny, and the same thing happened. It's like there is this new arena in my being into which God has started speaking, and it's wonderful. It feels like finding my identity in him.
